But SHE WISHES!! SHE WISHES!!!

Today, I went to the Mall of America with my honors choir to sing a concert. We basically just went shopping (I got Christmas presents for my mom and some friends) and then sang for like an hour and stuff. Then we got lunch. Which is when it got hilarious.

So, I got some pizza from this Italian pizza place and sat down at the table with Allison, Alex, Danielle, Abby, Katie, and Genesis, and we were just kinda eating for a while until this lady at the table next to us turned around. And thennn:

Lady: Are you SANTA??? *to Alex, who was wearing a Santa hat*
Alex: Uhm, no. Santa lives in the North Pole.
Lady: Well...but...you're HERE!!!!!
Alex: I'm not--
Lady: SO WHERE'S SANTA???
Alex: I don't know, but I'm not--
Lady: WHERE'S YOUR BEARD, SANTA?
Alex: I'm not Santa Clause. I'm a GIRL.

Later we decided that it would've been funnier if she'd said "I shaved it off." :P

Lady: *silence*
Allison: I'M a reindeer! :) *wearing reindeer antlers*
Lady: OH. OH. OH. A REINDEER!!!! :-o So you ARE Santa!!!
Alex: No, I'm--
Lady: DO YOU HAVE ELVES??? WHERE'RE THE ELVES????
Me: Katie's an elf!
Katie (who's really short and elf-y looking): Shhhhh!! Don't reveal my secret identity!!
Lady: OOH. You're Santa. *nods solemnly to Alex*
Alex: ...Oh...kay. Sure.
Lady: SO CAN YOU FLY???? *to Allison*
Allison: No, but I wish I could...
Some Dude: Of course she can't fly!
Lady: But SHE WISHES!!!! SHE WISHES!!!!
*tears come streaming from our eyes as we try to laugh silently*
Lady: *sees Allison's shopping bag* Did you go SHOPPING?
Allison: Yes. Yes we did.
Lady: :-o What did you GET??
Allison: Well, I got this cute necklace and some lip gloss.
Lady: Do you put it on your FAAAAACEE? *like, wipes her face with her hand*
Allison: ...The...necklace?
Lady: Can I SEEE?
Allison: ...Sure... *puts on the necklace* Um, that's the necklace.
Lady: Whaddabout the OTHER stuff?? *wide eyes*
Allison: *picks up a lip gloss* This?
Lady: Yes. Do you put it on your FAAAAAAACEE? *smears her hand on her face again*
Allison: Sure, I put it on my faaace. *smears her hand on her face too*
Lady: OHHH. Did you get SHAMPOO???? For your FAAAAAAAACEEE?
Allison: No, just lip gloss.
Lady: Do you have any MORE??
Allison: Yeah, this whole bag's lipgloss...
Lady: HOW BOUT YOU? DID YOU GO SHOPPING? *to Danielle*
Danielle: Yeah?
Lady: What did YOU geeeeeeet?
Danielle: This... *holds up*
Lady: Do you have any MORE??
Danielle: No.
Lady: *looks* YOU LIE!!! COUPON!!!!! *takes and holds up coupon*
Danielle: I--But I didn't--
Lady: WHAT'S THAT? *points to my hand*
Me: It's a chicken stamp. It's dead.
Chicken: *looks like it has no head, so is technically "dead"*
Lady: THE CHICKEN'S DEAD???? CHICKEN!!! BUGAWWWWWK!! BUGAAAWWWWKK!!!!
Me: Umm. Yeah...

-Some time later-

Danielle: *gets up to throw her food away*
Lady: *hurriedly gets up too, follows*
Danielle: *gets to the trash can and starts throwing things away*
Lady: *bumps with tray* You're in my WAAAAYYYY.
Danielle: Um, I was just--
Lady: *bumps again* You're in my WAAAAAAAYYYY!!
Danielle: I just have to put my stuff in the garbage can--
Lady: GET OUT OF MY WAAAAAAYYY!!!!!! *bumps again*
Danielle: OKAY!! *goes to a different garbage can*

-Later-

Lady: So what did YOOUUU get?
Me: Um, some lotion for my mom and--
Allison: *mutters amusedly* Do you put it on your faaaaace?
Lady: DO YOU PUT IT ON YOUR FAAAAACE??
Allison and Me: *more tears*
Lady: *wide eyes* Well? WELL?? WELL????
Me: Um, I guess you could, but it's mostly for your hands...and it's for my mom, so...
Lady: Do you have any MORE?
Me: Well, I have some [censored because it's a secret. Shhhhhh].
Lady: Can I SEEEE?
Me: They're kind of--
Lady: CAN I SEEEEEEEEEE?

And then we had to go. But it was SO FUNNY. (:

Oh. And then Genesis stole some of my Mountain Dew, because I was busy cracking up at the lady. And...um...Genesis drank like half of my large Mountain Dew. And got, like, drunk off the caffeine (she's EXTREMELY susceptible to caffeine). It was...so funny, but...so...O_O I had to distract her and steer her to the bus, and then to top it off Kelsey and Abby kept trying to interfere and stuff because they just thought it was hilarious (which it was, but still. They don't know how to deal when Genesis gets drunk off Mtn Dew). Kelsey like walked up and was like, "The ceiling's sparkly!!! Look, an Edward poster."

I was like, "Cuz that's so helpful, Kelsey, to get her more hyper. Let go please." Cuz she was, like, grabbing onto Genesis's arm and dragging her forward. Which was so not helping. And Kelsey looks at me like, "What am I doing wrong?" So then I just walked a little faster and we got to the bus. And she sat down, while Kelsey kept going, "Edward's on the bus! He's right there, Genesis!" which made me want to punch her in the face.

So theeen Genesis came down from her high (temporarily) on the bus, while everyone else was talking and mimicking the Mall Lady, and it was fun. And when we got back to school, Paige came like running at me and Genesis yelling to me, "Smart move, Em!! Stupid, stupid, stupid." And then we calmed her down (she got high again because a) we were all getting hyper and cracking up cuz of the Mall Lady thing and b) Kelsey came back and...just...ugh).

Anyway. That's it. (: Great and hilarious day.

"But SHE WISHES!! SHE WISHES!!!" (Peezowt.)

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-Emilee
Quotes!
- Too many to even record on here. Read the post. :P